Blanky
by Kai Ultimate Popcorn
Summary: A cute story involving lots of pain and random humour. Please R&R! :]
1. A normal day in a normal house

Mercy: Hah! Another random fanfiction... involving Kai torture!

Heart: Wh-hoo! One down and... A LOT more left to go.

Kai: -groans, smacks head, and attempts to commit suicide-

Heart: Anyways, this fanfictions takes place sometime where Daichi exists but doesn't count as a Bladebreaker or BBA Revolution or whatever.

Mercy: You get the gist.

Heart: We do not, sadly, own Beyblade.

Mercy: Otherwise this fanfiction would have been aired right this second... and Beyblade rating would go up to 14+ or more... oh well...

Heart: One last note that might help you read this... "Blah" is speech, 'Blah' is thought and _Blah_ is just for stressing a word, most likely for sarcasm.

Mercy and Heart: Enjoy! I'm sure everyone will think that we are murderers after this but... HAVE FUN READING!

Mercy: WE ARE MURDERERS! -laughs maniacally-

Kai: -slap- Here's the extremely stupid fanfiction.

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"I walk an empty street, on the Boulivard of Broken Dreams..."

"SHUT THAT THING UP TYSON!"

It was around 6:00 AM when Tyson, the stupidity reincarnated into a human being, had come up with the incredibly _brilliant_ idea of blasting his Green Day CD as loud as the stereo could go. And since Kai is pretty darn rich and that stereo was pretty darn expensive and high-tech, it could blast LOUD. And I mean it. Kai did not approve of this simple _stroke of genius._ (I was feeling kinda sarcastic this morning, but it is quite amusing imagining Tyson being smart.)

"Tyson, if you do not stop playing that incredibly stupid song or at least turn the volume down, I will throw you out of the window. No, wait. If you do not stop playing that song you will go out the window."

Tyson quickly shut off the stereo and watched Kai nervously. Apparently Tyson did not realize that the apartment that Kai bought for the Bladebreakers was on the first floor.

"Hey guys, what's with all the noise?"

Max came out from his room across from Tyson's scratching his head. Max looked like a zombie in the mornings. He walked into the cramped kitchen (Hey Kai isn't willing to buy EVERYTHING expensive. Just the stuff he occasionally uses.) Aaaanyways... what was I saying? Oh yeah... Max went into the kitchen and crammed about 10 pounds of sugar into his mouth. He suddenly perked up and began running around the small kitchen, knocking random things over like Tyson's Doremon doll (which was oddly in the kitchen, dressed in a dress), Kai's hair gel, and about 100 pounds of food onto the floor. Tyson grabbed some eggs off the floor at ate them. This really nasty act caused Max to become sane again, but he was still hyper.

"..."

"Tyson, you know that that's really gross and unsanitary right?"

"I don't really care and Rei won't either because he'll never know... _right guys?_

"Er..."

Tyson threw the food back onto the table and then sat down and began eating the food.

"Hey Kai, if it's alright with you, I plan to just eat sugar this morning. Eating that food is too nasty."

"I'll stick with my coffee."

"Hey where is Rei anyways?"

And making a grand entrance (how do they time these things? Whenever people ask where someone is they always appear... I bet they planned this...) Aaanyways... Rei came out of his room with glimmering hair, that probably took 10 hours or so to do. It was all shiny and pretty and... yeah stuff. While Rei walked past Kai, Kai happened to _accidentally_ (still got that sarcasm in me) whack Rei's hair with his hand. Rei's hair collapsed and then popped up in an afro. Rei began to cry and throw the nearest thing in reach, which was unfortunately Tyson and Max's Hello Kitty dolls, at Kai. Kai stood there while stuffed Hello Kitty dolls bounced off him pointlessly. Max and Tyson were attempting to strangle Rei whle Rei tried (and failed) to chuck more Hello Kitty dolls at Kai. Then the doorbell rang.

Tyson, Max and Rei all charged at the door, collided and began fighting again. Rei is more mature after the morning, when his brain wakes up. He never was really a morning person. Max is pretty nice unless it comes to his Hello Kitty dolls. He and Tyson had been collecting those since birth. Guess what else still hasn't changed. Tyson is basically a pain 24/7. Well, Kai answered the doorbell.

"Hi Kai. Can I come in?" said a pile of boxes.

After closer examination, Kai discovered it was Kenny, the short nerd kid who was carrying a pile of boxes.

"Hn."

"Okay, I'll take that as a yes. Hi Max, Tyson, Rei! How's it going?"

Tyson looked at Kenny and panicked.

"AAAH! Talking boxes! They know our names... and where we live!"

Rei, brain finally alive and working, calmed Tyson down.

"No Tyson, it's a midget carring those boxes."

"Who are you calling a midget!" said the pile of boxes aka Kenny.

"You. You're so short Daichi's probably one foot taller than you. Hn." Kai offered very -cough- _charitably_.

Kai then suddenly and randomly decided to go out for one of his trademark brooding lone wolf walks. Tyson seemed to be the only one who noticed Kai was leaving because Kenny was fuming angrily in a corner while Rei tried to calm him down while Max made things worse.

"Kai where are you going?"

"A place called outside."

"Forever?"

"Though how much I wish I could, no."

Kai stalked out the house and wandered around aimlessly through the park until he found his favourite leaning tree. His long white scarf flowed out behind him in the breeze as he closed his eyes and began pondering life's strangest questions.

'When was the last time Rei cut his hair?'

'How come Tyson eats so much but can't cook?'

'What's with Kenny's overgrown fringe of what he calls hair?'

'Why do people refer to me as the slate haired teen so damn often? It's called GREYISH-SILVER! My hair is NOT a piece of slate thank you very much.'

The hairs on the back of Kai's neck began tingling. Someone was watching him. His eyes snapped open as he scanned the area in front of him. All clear. Now just the back...

"BLANKY!"

Kai was dragged away helplessly by his scarf by the mysterious female captor…

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Will Kai survive this weird girl?

On that thought, who is this weird girl?

And will these unanswerable questions be answered?

Find out next time on... Cornopolus goes to McchesterTownCityVillePlaceAreaLocation! (smileyface)


	2. Italian Karaoke Dance Revolution

Heart: Heeeerrreeeeee's Blanky Chapter 2! Yey. :3

Mercy: -clap!- Unfortunately, Beyblade does not belong to us. –sob-

Heart: If it was though, Tyson would be starved, Kai would be in chains, Tala frozen in some random pond, Rei bald, and Max cut off from any source of sugar:

Mercy: Ah, yes. Bishie torture – it's perfectly normal! -love-

Heart: -ahem- Anyways, let's cut to the chase: in this new chapter, one of whom people might call "OC" appears. She is NOT a seriously made OC with painstaking care, mostly because she's a parody, intended to offend Mary-Sue Ocs in a way that you have to think hard to figure out. :)

Mercy: Well, here's the chapter, so enjoy. :) -attempts to do anime peace sign but fails miserably-

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"BLANKY!" A mysteriously high-pitched voice called joyfully from behind him. Kai's voice emptied out in a airy gasp as the pressure around his neck tightened and a powerful force pulled him down unto the ground while, simultaneously, dragged the back of his head across the grass. At that precise moment, he knew he made a bad choice when he tied his scarf so that anyone could pull on it and cut off his air supply. He knew he should've listened to his maid (who was later mauled by various furious fangirls and Mary-sues), who taught him how to tie scarves properly. He knew he should've obeyed her orders to gnaw off the end of his scarf when being attacked and gained advantage of by the scarf. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was his lifelong partner, his scarf! He even named it some sadistic-homicidal name that this fanfiction shouldn't mention! He knew it was special the day he say it at IKEA, its coat shining and glistening under the on-sale light bulbs for $9.99 each. He brought it home, trimmed it, wore it, and even started some gay-butt trend on pathetic OCs and fangirls. And sometimes, under the right light, he swore the scarf looked kind of… …

His train of thoughts crashed as he was being dragged across a rocky surface, namely the sidewalk, and sent a huge explosion that blew up his CNS (central nervous system) and temporarily left him half-dead on the ground. Who will save him? Who will rescue him from the evil menace Kai couldn't crane his neck to look at because he's busy fantasizing about his scarf and passing out? Surely, the closest of his friends, the Bladebreakers, will hear his silent, but desperate cry for help…

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"GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO SHOW, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, LET ME HOLD YOU" Tyson sang (off-tunedly) into the microphone while trying to match the steps on the dance mat. Max died the moment Tyson started the song.

"Tyson, you suck!" Rei exclaimed while turning off the music.

"Well, kitty-boy, if you really want to play, then show me up!"

"YOU'RE ON!" Rei flicked his hair bishie-likely, but failed and ended up getting his hand stuck in one of the tangles. He cursed in Chinese (which we won't translate) and stepped unto the dance mat, patiently choosing a song he could TOTALLY pwn Tyson with. Tala, who was there for no apparent reason and no logic at all because that means he got to Japan to play DDR with the Bladebreakers from Russia in exactly 6.7 minutes, sat there looking quite disturbed.

"Guys, I'm sorry for interrupting you but…wait, who said I have to be polite to these baboons?" Tala snapped as a sudden realization popped itself into his mind. "Guys, shut up. I have something important I have to tell you and if you don't shut up now, you're all going out the window."

The Bladebreakers immediately stopped what they're doing and looked over at Tala, obviously not realizing that, in the previous chapter, the other authoress had already mentioned that they lived on the first floor of the apartment. And now this authoress is taking the advantage of them not remembering and giving Tala the chance to talk. HOW SMART I BE! -authoress laughs maniacally and asphyxiates-

"I have reason to believe that my sixth sense tells me Kai's being dragged off by a mysterious female captor with superhuman strength to some place that is out of our range of knowledge." The Bladebreakers blinked in unison, while Kenny nods in delight and expects the next sentence with almost an eerie glee, hoping it's going to be something like: "…then he was struck by lightning, tripped and stabbed by a spiky rock and bled to death with a paper cut" or "…tripped on a pebble, cursed in Russian, and fell into an eternal burning hellhole they call Satan's Little Haven of Joy". Yes, Kenny was a bit homicidal on the inside, but he never really revealed that to his teammates until that fateful day blah de blahblah blah blah blah de blahblah. (reader shall tune out from here because I don't want to type up Kenny's life story)

Anyways, the authoress digresses, after a dumbly put plea from Tyson of rephrasing what he just said, Tala sighed and tried to rearrange his words so that even seaweed could understand the sentence.

"I think Kai has been kidnapped by a fangirl."

"Le kidnapdo fangirlo? Mucho frio!" Tyson screamed and ran around in circles. No one paid any attention.

"I think it's just your imagination, Tala." Max said, being the first to say something normal and not out of the blue in this chapter of the fanfiction. "Kai is quite capable of taking care of himself."

"I agree with Maxie. I'm sure you were just imagining things." Rei put calmly and flashed a reassuring smile at Tala, while Tyson continued his Italian-Runaround with no avail of catching any attention. Tala sighed.

"I guess so. Now if Tyson will stop speaking Italian and running around in circles, I just had the sudden urge to pwn him at DDR." Tala said, magically gaining the ability to ignore Kai's telepathical pleas. Tyson stopped running and pointed a challenging finger at Tala.

"Bringo. Ito. Ono."

"…"

"MUCHO FRIO!"

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Heart: Short Chapter filled with nautical nonsense, and random humour! xD

Mercy: Well, that's it for now. Tune in next time to find out what _really_ happened to Kai!

Kai: GET ME OUT OF THIS FANFICTION! O.O –runs around smacking into walls-


End file.
